July 5, 2018

Scientists Announce A.I. Now Advanced Enough To Run Fish and Chips Store

"Turns out even a One Nation sentator could do it, so it clearly doesn't require too much intelligence."

July 5, 2018

Lazy sniffer dog just sits down next to any festival-goer with dreads

"Its either them or anyone wearing Nike TNs"

June 14, 2018

Socceroos fans begin search for team they’ll support when Australia is eliminated

"Maybe I'll pick Russia, at least we will know they will have the home crowd, and the American government backing them."

June 14, 2018

North Korean/US Tensions Reignite as Both Leaders Claim Handshake Win

"This means war"

June 14, 2018

Driver Of Swastika Tank Revealed

"We should have known"

June 8, 2018

Despite Setbacks, Corporate World Pledges to Keep Shitting on Everyday Australians

"You cannot stop us, Mr Macintosh is just one man, in a world full of shit CEOs"

May 28, 2018

Scientists discover cure to lactose intolerance is just wanting to eat the food

"The findings have been met with applause, and flatulence."

May 25, 2018

Responsible Drink Driver Indicates Before Running Up Curb

"He was also sure to have his hazard lights on the whole time he was driving"

May 21, 2018

Telstra Outage Leaves Customers Unable to Scroll News Feed on Morning Bus

Workplaces have been plunged into chaos, with productivity up 150%

May 21, 2018

Earth Hour Successfully Offsets First 8 Seconds of Vivid Festival

"If we changed it to 'Earth Month' then maybe they would stand a chance."