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Lush introduce new scented candle that smells like $50 going up in flames

Scented candles will cut out the middleman and smell like burning money, a spokesperson for the industry has announced. The decision was made after manufacturers ran out of new scents and thought they would have to go back to the first one – ‘Hot tallow’.

Instead, a junior marketer suggested that candles could smell like the thing they are.

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Fans love the idea. Sales assistant Kayla Taylor said “I never knew what I loved most about scented candles – the smell of something unpleasant or the feeling of not having $50 anymore. Now I don’t have to wonder because the smell and the feeling are the same!”

Scented candle vendor Martin Smith said “The people we sell these things to don’t seem to value logic or economy at all, so it’s surprising they have taken to the idea of combining the experience with the scent. The only thing I can think of is that the fumes of the candles they have inhaled have affected their mental capacity.” 

But experts say that purchasers of scented candles, like the candles themselves, were never that bright to begin with.

The Chaser