Coles corporation has today rushed out a new advertising campaign, highlighting the low, low prices of staff at their rival Woolworths.

“Every staff member’s wages are slashed!” announced a bouncy member of Aunty Donna through a pained smile while carrying a giant oversized hand, “Down down, wages are down!”

However Woolworths have instantly hit back at Coles, with a new ad campaign from Coles spokesman George Calombaris, espousing the benefits of underpaying staff. “As a Coles spokesman, there’s nothing I like more than a good money saver,” says Calombaris. “That’s why I always make sure I ask my bookkeeper to find at least 20% savings on everything I pay for, from ingredients, to staff members.”