Andrew Bolt weighing elderly neighbour’s life against joy of eat-in McFlurry

Andrew Bolt has spent the week weighing up an old man’s life against the pleasure of being able to sit down while eating a McFlurry at McDonalds. While the fast food chain currently operates delivery and take-away under strict lockdown conditions, customers have not been able to eat in for almost a month.

The new dilemma comes after Mr Bolt decided earlier in the week that playing golf was more important than his neighbour’s life.

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Sources close to Mr Bolt have confirmed that he is genuinely torn between the balance of preserving the life of his elderly neighbour, with access to a proper sit-down fast food experience. They indicated Bolt was currently placing an equal value on the 90-year-old former teacher and the joy of sitting down in-store to eat a McFlurry, but he could swing either way.

Mr Bolt said “At some point you have to look at the damage caused by a continued slowdown of the economy. While we need to avoid deaths from coronavirus we also need to avoid the bad things about lockdown – isolation, closed golf courses, and a lack of access to a fresh McFlurry that you can eat in the comfort of a McDonald’s restaurant.”

“Takeaway’s not the same because the colours bleed from the M&Ms and it gets to you half melted. It’s bullshit,” he said.

The Chaser