EB Games solemnly begins 12 year closing down sale

The EB Games franchise has today begun the process of removing their permanent sale banners at their flagship stores across the country, in order to erect the new line of “closing down sale” banners that will cover their stores for the next ten to twelve years.

“Everything must go… more than usual,” read the new banners across one such store. “All stock 50% off the regular 50% off price.”

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However, customers were incredulous about the supposed bargains, stating that this was likely just another marketing tactic for the company which seems to have been in sales mode since 1998. “I’m not getting excited until they get to the ‘man screaming with bright red text flashing up on screen’ level of sales,” said on gamer walking past an EB store. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go buy a rug. I heard the local dealer is having some kind of sale, and I don’t want to miss it.”

The Chaser