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Man with ‘I Stopped the Boats’ trophy unsure why people think he’s a psycho

Prime Minister Scott Morrison is at a loss this afternoon, after being informed that he is seen as a bit of a psychopath by colleagues. “What do you mean I lack feelings?” screamed Morrison down the phone to the empathy coach he pays to tell him when to act sad. “It’s a complete lie, and the next person that calls me a psychopath is getting locked in my basement.”

“I mean, what have I done wrong?” he continued. “Apart from going on holidays during a disaster, backstabbing my old boss, getting fired for corruption from every job I’ve worked, and threatening to shoot all women I can’t think of a single thing I’ve done that would be considered to be psychopathic.”

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However Mr Morrison took comfort as he looked around his office and as usual, ignored all the problems and sounds around him. “Me? A psycho? Never,” Morrison said as he looked around the room. “I mean if I was a psychopath, would my colleagues have given me this ‘I stopped the boats trophy’? No psychopath would go locking up kids on a prison island.”




The Chaser