NBN to raise billions by charging users every time their internet drops out

The National Broadband Network Corporation has today walked back on plans to charge users extra for streaming video on the network, in an attempt to bolster the company’s finances. Apologising to Australians everywhere, NBN Co president Joe Buffer said that it was clearly foolish to try to raise money from streaming, when they could obviously make a lot more money by just charging people extra whenever their internet drops out.

“Utilising this cutting edge ‘pay for no service’ model, we project the NBN corporation will make upwards of a billion dollars in our first week,” said Buffer during a web streaming press conference this afternoon, “In fact if my calculations are correct w- –l —f- –o — h–lo -fd- —f-.”

The Chaser