Australian Of The Year Ian Frazer announced today that he would dedicate his 2006 to promoting cervical cancer research to whoever hasn’t already forgotten him.
“I will not rest until every single person attending a primary school or citizenship ceremony is aware of the exciting research in this field,” he said. “I will be to human papilloma virus vaccines what that woman was to that Bali thingy last year.”
Frazer’s declaration was well-received by patrons at the Australia Day ceremony, although less so by television news networks, which bumped it for footage of beachgoers lying on giant, pink inflatable thongs.
The award is widely considered to be a shot in the arm for the industry, with excited peers expecting further success in 2007. “Cervical cancer researchers will be the next Australian cricket captains,” predicted researcher Graham Fellows. “Now we’ve broken through, it’s going to be tough to take this award off us next year.”
Frazer rejected suggestions that the Australian Of The Year Award recedes rapidly in the public consciousness. “Just look at Nicole Kidman in 2005. She was simply nominated to be Australian Of The Year and see what it did for the film industry in the public consciousness. Huge things.” “Steve Waugh, Pat Rafter, Mark Taylor – they were all very well-known after their wins,” he added. “It just depends on how you promote yourself.”
Frazer is currently in negotiations with various second-rate businesses to appear in a tacky advertising campaign.