White supremacist and breakfast TV darling Pauline Hanson has today called for “Black Friday” to “All Fridays Matter” in order to allow everyone to enjoy the event.
Opposition leader Peter Dutton had praised the move, stating “if people really want equality then surely there would be two holidays.. one for Black Friday and one for White Friday. Unless black is referring to the colour of one’s heart – in which case I’m fine with just Black Friday.”
However, opponents have hit back claiming that White Friday would be redundant, as an international white themed holiday centred around rampant consumerism on the 25th already exists in the form of Christmas.
Meanwhile a trial run of the White Friday sales has already proven a huge success, with discounts on sandals, Keith Urban CD’s and unseasoned chicken sending sales through the roof.