Prince Andrew statue fast-tracked

A statue of Prince Andrew has been fast-tracked, and will be erected outside Buckingham Palace later this week.

A spokesperson said they made the decision after they noticed that statues depicting vile people who did terrible things in the past seemed to be all the rage at the moment.

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The 3-metre effigy of the Queen’s least popular child was commissioned in late 2019 when it looked like statues, once unveiled, would hang around for a long time. However, there now exists an opportunity to get it finished, out and into a river before the weather turns bad.

The statue is in recognition of Prince Andrew’s services in his role in the “suicide” of Jeffrey Epstein.

Sculptor Tatiana Wood-Masters said “We’re working 20-hour days to get it finished. If we miss our window it’s going to have to stay wherever we put it. We originally suggested displaying it on a plinth at the bottom of a flooded quarry but apparently Prince Andrew has sunk even lower than that.”

The Chaser